The sex-starved marriage | Michele Weiner-Davis | TEDxCU

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Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW is an internationally renowned relationship expert, best-selling author, marriage therapist, and professional speaker. Among the first in her field to courageously speak out about the pitfalls of unnecessary divorce, Michele has been active in spearheading the now popular movement urging couples to make their marriages work and keep their families together. Michele is the Director of The Divorce Busting® Center and the founder of She has been a frequent guest on shows such as Oprah, 20/20, 48 Hours, The TODAY show, Good Morning America, CBS Evening News, and so on. Her work as been featured in most major newspapers and magazines.

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daselah graham says:

This video made me cry! Because I'm at my breaking point…we show affection maybe once every 2months – 3months and I'm 24 with and our marriage is 2years old…smh

AgeofMachines says:

As happy as the outcome of this story is, there seems to be no accounting for those marriages based on wholly mercenary intentions.
When you see a man open up like that and discover the true nature of the woman he's married as she just blithely cuts him down, you can see how and why men are not interested in relationships anymore.
Not something you can unsee. Hardest part about watching this video is knowing and having witnessed a similar scene like this unfold.
Oh yeah…. Same female promises to give him FOUR KIDS AFTER HE LEFT.
Mercenary is a nice way of putting it.

Nat King Kong says:

Michele is an EXPERT. This is a woman who is whole-heartedly passionate and connected to her craft. Thank you for this talk- you described my relationship to a t haha

zoezoe610 says:

One of the best explanations ever.

Jikar Lohiya says:

Jazakallah khair. You are doing best my friend. If I can help in your work. How I explain. Appreciate. 👍👍👍

mario figueroa says:

love is not a feeling is a decision you can love anyone because love is a bunch of actions that you take in favor of others that why you can't say you love someone I'd you don't do anything for that person

guitarman0365 says:

That awkward moment when women complain to men about not being home and working a lot. Like if most not all woman weren't so hypergamous and could be happy in a cheap little house and a used car we would be home for you every evening of the week. On the other hand you would always be on us for not be ambitious enough and just accepting a basic mediocre standard of living. We just can't win. If you want a great lifestyle that takes a lot of work to afford which means a lot of time away from home so you just have to learn to accept that or accept a lower standard of living, you can' t have both.

Just Steph says:

This speak volumes mcconnell says:

This brief lecture somehow reminded me of that song called "Crazy Love" in which part of the lyrics go: "She gimme love love love love crazy love………………."  Sometimes a woman just has to submit to the need/desire of her man even when she doesn't feel like it and many times she will discover that it can be more satisfying to her in ways she never even thought of.  It was the Analytical Psychologist Carl Gustav Jung that made the clinical observation that making love to one's mate is the "highest form" of saying "I Love You" in a biological and emotional sense and I, personally, will add: even up into the Spiritual Level! (which involves the Highest Form of Love!)

jcglock40 says:

Michele…..THANK YOU so much for what you do…you have no idea what it means to men, when YOU understand them.

Glistening Kabana says:

Well done Michelle!

josevilla7777 says:

That was amazing

Harry miles says:

The truth is monogamy is an unnatural thing and time will eventually catch up to people in long term relationships. We are all just advanced Apes after all.

Cathy B - CBRadio Band says:

MUTUAL CARETAKING. AN ACT OF LOVE. That's what it's all about.


the reason for divorce is because of narrow minded prudish idiots.

Alpha Male says:

Wow. She used her husband of 40 years as a punch line. 😟

raleighman3000 says:

Reality: most guys want a good wife and a good low-drama "side" chick.

J Merlo says:

To be honest, I feel very lucky not to share this type of worries. But there again, people are free to do with their life, whatever they want to do with it.  My advise:  Do what you want to do, without worrying about what others, or the other one, may think, feel or say.  You only have one life to experience, therefore you should try to do the best you can, and, please, be respectful of what others would like to experience in their life.
Simple as that.

Menno van Dam says:

The good news: I have been divorced for now 28 years, and I finally understand what happened. Thank you Michelle! Brilliant in every sense. I have now peace in my heart thanks to you. The bad news: my ex has less awareness than a marinated mussel, and I know that she hasn't changed. For a couple to want to change they need to first acknowledge that there is something that need changing. 🙂

BNL says:

I HATE MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maggi Smith says:

I watched your video yesterday and after three years of not being able to make love to my husband, I made love to him last night! I am grateful to you and this video! Thank you Ms. Weiner Davis.

Brandenburg008 says:

This is an incredible video, one that I'm not sure why came across my home screen/feed. Although I have next to no interest in marriage, I find this incredibly useful for a future relationship. It makes me reflect back on my previous relationship. Many lessons learned. It makes me chuckle that we never stop learning, always evolving. The trick is to evolve in the right direction. Thank you for this video and content.

Gladson Wesly says:

Good insight.. awesome..

H C says:

My husband has intimacy anorexia I wish I never met him he made me feel miserable. He build a wall between us and what is worst of it all? He blames me for his action.

Nelma HixY STIX says:

Pain issues what do you do

C L says:

this was a lovely talk and I wish I had seen it years ago. Bravo Michele, thats
nice work you do.

max bolen says:

"#3 you just have to do it". As a man I would never want a women to just do it. That is not love or affection between two people who should be together. I'm an Alpha male, and I will still take a loving cuddle and affection over any women just doing it! If our relationship lacks the connection of our primal desires, it is time to move on. I'm not talking about after 2 kids and ten years, just get it straight from the start. Everyone knows deep in your heart if you feel the flame.

DNA Leguillou says:

I've been married for almost 27 years. We haven't been intimate in years. 4:/ years

Sudip Das says:

But, are you sure you are not encouraging a transaction? Is marriage a transaction like business people do?

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